What is Parenting…25 Tips Take 1

So much has happened in the last few weeks. I will play catch up when I am done catching up to my life. I have stories, y’all. Epic stories.

Today, however, let’s play the definition game. I’m in grad school, I am pre-programmed to not only define everything I see, I also must identify what theory or concept it represents and why. It can be very tedious to have a conversation at times!!!

What IS parenting? Seriously? What is it? The dictionary says that it is:


http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/d/g/speaker.swf [pair-uhn-ting, par-]  Show IPA


1.the rearing of children: The schedule allows her very littletime for parenting.
2.the methods, techniques, etc., used or required in therearing of children: a course in parenting.
3.the state of being a parent;  parenthood. (Dictionary.com)
All the guidebooks say it is “joyous”, “the hardest job you will ever love”, “magical” .
Yes. It is that.
Minus magical. I am not sure I have felt at all magical being a mom.
What is Parenting?  I made a list. A new way to define, as it were.
Bekah’s 25 Tips, Tricks & Parenting Observations
1. It is a lot more work than ANYONE will ever tell you. About to become a parent? I am warning you. Don’t laugh. Wipe that smirk off your face. You don’t have it all figured out and that little 8lb darling is going to kick you in the butt so hard you may never recover. Seriously. Parenting is like a marathon.
2. Parenting involves more laundry than you ever thought possible.
3.  You will never have anyone tell you you are wrong more than when you become a parent. Whether that is by strangers, family, friends or your own little one who has suddenly started to speak and tell you that you are in fact, wrong.
4. People will judge you. No matter what you do.
5. There are no perfect parents but there are a massive amount of people that will tell you they are.
6. Many parenting books are written by people that do not have children. They are not to be trusted.
7. Parenting means you will soon learn how to converse quite fluently in the subject matters of poop, vomit, pee and other such pleasant things.
8. It’s a mixture of skill, prayer and sheer dumb luck.
9. Kids are resilient. Thank God.
10. If you plan to get a pet to see if you can parent please note that the behavior similarities between a toddler and say a dog is best shown in a half crazed Jack Russel Terrier. On crack. 24hrs a day. Can’t find that dog? Stop comparing dog ownership to child rearing then!
11. Anything is possible with the right combination of energy drinks, combat naps, granola bars and a grab bag of goldfish crackers.
12. You want to hear people go batshit crazy? Tell them you don’t “believe” in something they do when it comes to kids. (i.e. breastfeeding vs. formula or to immunize or not)
13. Just because a celebrity says it, does it, writes about it does NOT mean it’s true. Example: Jenny McCarthy and her Autism thing. She is an ACTRESS, not a doctor. Ignore her.
14. There will come a time, particularly in the infant/toddler phase, where you will realize that you have let go of reality a bit. My moment was when I answered the door for FedEx and something funky from baby was in my hair. He pointed it out, I gave him a death stare before grabbing my package, bursting into tears and obsessively sitting in my living room eating frosting. It happens to the best of us. Don’t forget to shower. It helps.
15. At some point you may lose ability to talk about anything non-kid related with people who don’t have kids. It will annoy them and you. It’s ok. It’s a phase. You’ll grow out of it.
16. You will love this kid more than life itself but still have days where you don’t think parenthood rocks your socks off. This is normal too.
17. Two words: Magic Eraser
18. Baby proofing is more for you than them. They figure it out pretty quickly. You, on the other hand, have several years of ” CRAP! Stupid *)_&^& cabinet lock.” or my personal favorite, the 1am gotta-pee run where you encounter “The toilet seat lock.” Have fun with that.
19. You should probably stop taking yourself so seriously now, save some grief for later.
20. Kids cry. Babies cry. Toddlers cry. It’s ok if you cry too.
21. Start working on that thick skin now. A sense of humor is great too. Your child will embarass you at one point. Wanna know what my little darling did to me recently? I was getting my flirt on with the adorable cashier at Target and she was digging through my purse. I was in rare form, just chatting and laughing. She unwrapped a tampon and CHUCKED IT at the cashier. Little slugger has a good arm too. Nothing will stop a conversation with your average 25 year old male faster than a tampon to the face. Yeah. That was awkward. 🙂
22. You cannot potty train a child that doesn’t want to be potty trained.
23. Invest in a good carpet cleaner and crappy furniture for the first few years.
24. Watch your mouth or you could become like me and be the mom whose kid swears at daycare. I have recently started swearing in random languages in hopes that if she picks it up, people will assume she is babbling. Nothing quite prepares you for a toddler dropping something on her foot and saying, “Oh shit mommy!” Yeah. It was a special moment.
and finally, 25. Have fun. This is a wild ride of love and you WILL survive it.
OK. Back to the daily grind. Have a good day y’all! What are your favorite parenting tips???
11 Responses to “What is Parenting…25 Tips Take 1”
  1. Awesome! You nailed it on all 25! Glad you stopped by my blog so I could find yours!

  2. simply.bekah says:

    Thank you!! It is always good to hear from parents who have been doing this craziness for longer than 2 years, haha. I am totally embracing the “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” parenting theory. Thus far, kiddo and I are happy with it. 🙂 I look forward to reading more of your blog as well.

    And Magic Eraser. Yeah. I just busted that out this evening. As beautiful as the crayon artwork was on the wall…living in a rental says it has GOT to go! 🙂

  3. Ian says:

    A great post. Your writing is superb, and I loved all 25, but I have to confess that I like the Savage Chickens picture – especially the Authoritative and the Uninvolved.

  4. simply.bekah says:

    Done! No problem! I am excited to read your post! 🙂

  5. annieagain says:

    I wish I knew you when I was 28! I am 58, and you are dead-on, and yes, you do survive. It would have been better with a little more humor on my part, but with 30 & 27 year olds, I can NOW look back and laugh!

  6. Omg LOVE ur list and u hit them all!! I must admit I did feel a little pride when my kid curses and uses the correct tense! Nice to “meet” you !

    • simply.bekah says:

      Thanks! Nice to “meet” you as well! I feel strange feelings of pride when kiddo uses swear words in the correct context as well. Should she say them? Probably not. But, dang! She does use them well!! 😉 Cheers!!

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  1. […] SimplyBekah: Bekah’s 25 Tips, Tricks, and Parenting Observations – Tip # 10: “If you plan to get a pet to see if you can parent, please note that the […]

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