Beauty and the Boobs: A Conversation.

If you clicked here to see some sort of intense cleavage shot. Fail.   Anyway. This post is about breasts and beauty. Obviously written from the point of an adult female who does, in fact, have her own set and inspired in part by a radio-commercial that I heard on my way home from shopping this afternoon.

“Are your breasts no longer your prize possession? Did children, time and weight changes do irrepareable damage to your breasts? Call for an appointment with Dr. XZY, foremost specialist in breast augmentation in the metro area. Call for a free consultation today, don’t live another day knowing you can restore your former feelings of pride in your appearance!”


Do you KNOW how many terms there for this “standard-issue” piece of anatomy? Breasts. Ta-tas. The Twins. Boobies. Mammaries. The Bosoms. Tits. Chumbawumbas. Headlights. The Shelf. Hooters. Honkers. Jugs. The Rack.  The Girls. Twin Peaks. Eye Magnets. the list goes on.

I asked 5 of my male friends via facebook chat to come up with a list of all the slang terms they use to describe “female breasts” with a one minute time line.

104 different terms between all 5 of them.

That’s a lot of words for breasts.

Quick facebook group search? Over 100 groups dedicated, in someway, to boobs.  Why are we so obsessed? Everywhere I go, something is going on with the boobage. We stare in appreciation at a woman with a nice set amply displayed but some cringe in horror when a mother uses hers to feed her child in public? We can’t get enough!  People spend a lot of money looking at, displaying and maintaining breasts. Seriously.

Example: I went bra-shopping the other day. All I want is something that is a)comfy and b) normal. There is no such thing. Not at big-box stores, anymore. You can get your standard sports bra. You racer back bra. Your strapless bra. Your plunge neck bra. Your convertible bra. Your front fasten bra. AND of course, your push up bra. You cannot get a normal bra. Or if you can, it is “construction orange” or it has cats on it or something. Awesome.

Browsing further, I encountered some young and giggling teenage girls. I talk to everyone and so I talked to them (in a non creepy way, of course!). They were trying to decide what bra to buy to match the new shirt they picked out that has holes to show off your bra. Huh. They lamented the size and shape of their breasts. They spoke in that adorably annoying teenspeak about how much they wished they would be “better endowed”. and they both recommended the “Be Jealous” bra to me. This little number bumps you up 2 cup sizes, comes in cheetah print and also has gel insert so your fake cleavage can bounce and feel, presumably, like real cleavage. It’s like a poor option for a boob job. I am curious how one washes it…does the gel move around in the wash? That seems awkward. MOVING ON.

As someone who loves to study people, I asked them several questions.

Here is how that went down:

Me: “If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?”

“My boobs. They are too small.” “I hate my nose.” “God, I am so short.” “I need to lose like, 10 lbs.”

Me: “If you had to be one or the other, would you rather be awarded a prize for being the most beautiful or the most intelligent?”

“Hotness. Totally.” 


Are we at that point in society? Really?

I click on the news and Toddlers and Tiaras, that crazy pageant show on TV for wee little kids, has a mom that puts fake C-Cup size boobs and a fake butt on her kid. I will reiterate that. A 4 year old. With C CUP FAKE BOOBS to go along with her fake hair. Fake teeth. Fake tan. Distrubingly sexy dance.

Where is the line? What are we teaching our kids? Boys AND girls? Is this healthy, this overtly-sexualizing of our youth? After all, the Barbie I played with as a kid had boobs. And bras. Ken had no “extra” body parts. But Barbie got to keep her boobs. God forbid, Barbie be a fellow chairperson of the “itty-bitty titty committee” . Nope. She has a nice set there too. And it is NOT just about the breasts. It is about body image. It is about this indoctrination of children and adults alike that we must seek to be this sexually charged ideal.

We need more conversations, we need more help.

Every person is a work of art. No one person or group of people get to hold onto this perception of “beauty.”

We all share it.

My definition of real beauty is simply being health and happy with who you are as a person.

To my smaller chested sisters: It’s ok.  Never fear. Those stupid thoughts that go through your head, the ones that say: “If only…if only I had bigger boobs, THEN he would be attracted to me.” No. Banish those thoughts. A) You do not want to be with a man whose only attraction to you are your breasts. Lame. and B) in my experience, it’s not as big of a deal as you and I hear through the lovely NON positive media that exists. Breasts do not define you. You are gorgeous just the way you are, rock it proud baby!

My breast size does not make me beautiful, it is simply a small (HA!) part of who I am. I feel like a “10” today because I am healthy and I feel beautiful. I am happy. I like the way I look. I simply do not care what other people think I should look like.

I want to pose a question, please answer in the comments.

What do you think defines beauty? How do you define it?

What makes you attracted to someone?

Peace, Love and 34 nearly A’s,


Campaign for Real Beauty has a great ad out to start this conversation:


2 Responses to “Beauty and the Boobs: A Conversation.”
  1. Dee says:

    Bekah, you crack me up!! and speaking as one of your more well endowed sisters…they honestly are a pain. All men do is stare at them they are always in the way, and when I try to eat…never fails I always get something on my shirt because they cover my lap…sigh*. I do agree though our society has become to “look” obsessed, speaking from a bigger girl perspective, I work out 4-5 days a week, running, walking, yoga, cardio, etc. I am fit but not skinny…and honestly the numbers make me depressed but I feel good and I know I am healthy. And I think that is the most importatnt thing. I truly wish women could see themselves for who they really are. not based on hollywood standards or unrealistic expectations, and please tell men to stop telling women they are fat and need to loose weight…that is un called for, we dont tell them to grow a bigger **** so dont tell me loose wt. ok off my soap box. great job! look forward to the next installment.

    • Casey says:

      To be fair, women may not tell men to grow bigger phallus, but there is a lot of societal messaging to men on size. Media constantly reinforces big dick = real man. Females gossip about it like it is the only important thing when describing someone. A friend of mine would talk about her best friend’s boyfriend and the only thing I know about him is that he is a shitty guy but has a huge dick. I had an ex-girlfriend who stated that she never slept with a guy under seven inches (which is statistically improbable as only 5% of the population is that size or larger. There had to lying or mismeasurement going on). She had no forethought that the person she is talking to might be average (we hadn’t made it to that stage yet). I told her that she should get ready to be disappointed and that she should think before she speaks.

      In my experience, women just don’t notice that they say these things because very few men will speak up about the thoughtlessness because of fear potential shame, teasing or being viewed as less of a man. The implicit meaning picked up by men is that unless you have a big penis, you will not be able to satisfy them or be a good lover.

      Similar to weight and chest size, there is no amount of facts, studies or assurances that will fix the psychosis about it unless someone takes the time to reinforce and make you believe that your insecurities are not reality.

      Don’t take this as the rambling of an insecure guy. Unless you are in the top 15%, a guy is probably worried that he isn’t big enough to impress you.

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