“No ma’am! No Nap! BAD MOMMY!”

Today has been not just a day of remembrance and service due to be Veterans Day. In the Diva McKidlet household it has also been a “No good, not funny, very bad day!”


We turned off the TV. Caught up on laundry and general domestic merriment AND

We re-instituted naptime. ( I know, I know. TERRIBLE parenting.  The horrors continue though. Read on.)

Granted, being twentysomething, I love naps. I envy those that can nap regularly and I firmly believe that as an employee, student and human I would be more productive if we ALL had a siesta from the hours of 1:30-3:00pm.

My Diva disagrees.

She, so new to the world and its beauty and curious things, has too much to do in a day. She couldn’t possibly be bothered to take a nap. Why on earth would one shut their eyes when you could draw on a wall instead?  Why on earth would you take a nap when you could be a crazed child for 14 hours only to crash and then get up at 4am? WHO DOESN’T LIKE 4AM??!

It’s a dilemma to be sure but in the end, it was executive decision time.

After all, that IS why we become parents, isn’t it?

It’s all about the power! We can MAKE someone else do something.  That must be it! That must be why we do the things we do. Criminey, we are positively tyrannical about it. 😉

What’s next?

Green bean advocacy? A commission to force making-of-the-bed? Or…the “SAY PLEASE!” Police?

I really can’t say. The future is still unfolding. Ideas to further “destroy” Diva’s childlike wonder with structure and manners are always popping in my head. Naturally.

To her credit, Diva put up a good battle. She cried.  She kicked. She screamed. She even told me “No ma’am!! No! Bad Mommy! No NAP!” so at least I can console myself with the knowledge that she has learned to express herself succinctly.

It was no matter, for I have embodied my parents before me and said that lovely parenting phrase:

“I don’t care. I told you to do something, you need to do it. Calm down and go to your bed. Now.”

Wow. I actually said it. I channeled my parents (grandparents too, actually!). It wasn’t the first time but I think I really heard the influence come out in my tone this time around.

Diva went to sleep. Grudgingly. She refused to give me a hug. I think she thought of it  as her punishment for my obviously blatant misunderstanding of her woes. Ohhh Diva.

I went to muse and wonder on how I was managing to turn into both my parents in one person.

Crazy how things work out.

Oh well.

In the words of The Onion: “Study Finds Every Style of Parenting Produces Disturbed and Miserable Adults.”

I may have channeled my mother’s no-nonsense approach to naptime this afternoon but here is a little that is all me:

“Save it for the shrink, sweet-pea. If naptime destroys your childhood experience, well, that is just a risk I am prepared to take. ”

Parenting. It’s part charm, part luck, a little skill and part guerrilla warfare.



2 Responses to ““No ma’am! No Nap! BAD MOMMY!””
  1. I’m really looking forward to the next several years of your blog! 🙂

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