The Enduring Adventures of Potty Princess and Paisley the Dog.

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaack! It has been awhile since I posted, the holidays were crazy busy and so many things were taking up my time. I started off my new year with resolutions, like half the world, and here they are:

  1. Pay down my car loan and pay off my credit card. (Doable)
  2. Write something I am thankful for every day in a journal to remind myself of the little things that makes life great. (Excellent)
  3. Try not to freak out so much. (Diva is testing this resolution a lot)

Numbers one and two are what I call “quality of life” resolutions. Getting rid of debt and reminding myself to be happy with what I have generally improves my life and that of Diva. Number three is because stress can kill you so I need to work on not being so stressed all the time. Fact.

I seek to be zen.

This brings me to this year’s inaugural posting.

“The Adventures of Potty Princess and Paisley the Dog.”

For the New Year, Diva and I got a pup. Well, actually she is a young adult dog (smallish terrier mix, like 20lbs) that we named Paisley despite the toddler insistence that her name should be “Hola, Dora!” Paisley is great. She is up to date on her shots, microchipped, fixed, gentle, housebroken for at least the week we have had her, mostly crate trained and doesn’t eat my kid or my furniture. The vet also said, “hey, no fleas!” Score. Paisley is ok in my book.

We love having a dog and my girly, pretty princess of a child loves to dress up the patient Paisley in matching tutus and go on adventures together around the living room and in to the great unknown of the dog crate or the pantry. It is great, it allows me to get some things done because instead of me being the Boots to her Dora 24hrs a day, Paisley is content to fill that role and follow around her faithful child-owner like a good dog should, always on the look out for that dropped Cheez-It or last bit of yogurt. We lead a charmed life.

This evening, while on the phone with school related things, my Diva Dora and Boots were having more adventures. I will be brutally honest here, I was mostly paying attention to the phone because I live in 800 sq ft, no stairs and all things scary and dangerous are up high where she can’t reach them and she is baby gated out of the laundry. If I am at the kitchen table, there isn’t a whole lot of shenanigans that I could foresee happening that I wouldn’t immediately know about.

Wrong assumption number one.

Do you know where a potty-training toddler likes to have fun?

The bathroom.


I have a door lock from Target that is SUPPOSED to be kid-proof but she can, apparently, figure it out. Because *I* cannot figure out the toilet locks, we haven’t messed with those but Diva is usually more keen to use her little potty instead anyway. Paisley, on the other hand, does occasionally drink out of the toilet. Gross.

As I was discussing all things student loan with a very nice advisor who I shall name “Edna”, I noticed that the dog and child were headed towards the hall. No big deal, they can play in the hall, back to discussions. I thought I heard the door open to the bathroom but it didn’t quite process and afterall, the chemicals and nasty bathroom stuff are safely in the top cabinet. I am not sure why I didn’t think of it but I probably assumed that I had left the door open or something.

A few minutes pass and when they didn’t come back, I decided to peek in, fully expecting to see my kid playing with her bath toys on the floor or something. Anyone with children knows that a few minutes of quiet usually means they are plotting something. Well. No, not exactly.

Diva was imitating the dog…and had her head in the toilet.

I almost had a heart attack. When I said “WHAT are you doing??” she slipped off her stool a little bit and effectively gave herself a swirly. GAG.

My exact words to Edna were, “Oh shit! I’m sorry to be rude but my kid just dunked her head in the toilet. I have to call you back.” *click*

Diva was fine, although quite wet, and had the toddler audacity to say, “mommy I drink like doggie!” which I had to laugh at (it was either that or cry because of the vision I had of my child drowning in the toilet!) and thus began the “OH MY GOD MY CHILD JUST DRANK OUT OF THE TOILET THAT IS SO DISGUSTING” hyperventilating period, the obligatory immediate bath and scrub out of her mouth and cheeks with her toothbrush dunked in Listerine, the chastising of the dog to get OUT of the bathroom, the call to the nurse on call to make sure she wasn’t going to get some sort of weird toilet disease (“Ma’am we never recommend children drinking from the toilet.” “Oh really, and here I thought it was a good way to spend the evening. ARGH!”) and the subsequent Facebook post. So much for resolution number three. Total mommy freak out moment. Completely.

Looking to the future, I am not sure how to prevent her from playing in the toilet without undoing our hard-won potty training successes. I don’t want her to be afraid of the potty but dang, my sanity cannot take her drinking out of it. Not to mention, that is incredibly horrible and disgusting.

That being said, I am off to Home Depot…in hopes of finding some sort of bathroom alarm. Visitors to my home, beware! You may have to pass a password protected barrier in order to pee. I would advise going before you come over.

Peace, love, resolutions and eye rolls,

Bekah, the Diva and Paisley the Dog.


EDIT TO ADD: we now have a door alarm for the bathroom that screeches like a tsunami-warning. The child will be safe and I will probably lose 10 years off my life every time I get up in the middle of the night to pee and forget it’s there. 🙂

4 Responses to “The Enduring Adventures of Potty Princess and Paisley the Dog.”
  1. I’m glad you are back. I was worried. Also, I would be worried about Diva drowning if you were not on your way to get a toilet alarm. Dog is a brilliant idea! I wish I had done that.

    • simply.bekah says:

      We have a bathroom alarm now that screeches if the door is opened. Should bandits or Diva or dog seek to go in there, this horrible tsunami-warning like sound goes off. Perfect. I have also moved her little potty out into the hall under the impression that if she really has to go, well, I won’t deny her!

      Things have been crazy (obviously) but I am glad to be back and at it again! 🙂

  2. Molly says:

    Brilliant!! You surely would be an author I would choose to follow their entire series.

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