Too Nutty For A Nutter Butter!

I'm a nut, you're a nut, let's have a nut party!

I am nuts. Seriously. N-U-T-S. Nuts. Not just because I love nuts, I do. Peanut butter, almonds, walnuts, pistachios, Brazil nuts, cashews, pecans…I know my way around the nuts. I have just come to this conclusion that life is like a nut bowl and we are all different players.

Humor me while I attempt to construct the players in this nut-bowl drama:

Oh dear walnut, you know who you are. The mysterious type, hiding behind a hard-to-crack shell. You are truly great on the inside but you make people work for it. So much so that you can even be poisonous to those that try to crack you wrong. I love walnuts. You are so versatile. I can bake with you, eat you plain and incorporate you into salad. A little outdoorsy, a little woodsy, but for the most part…solid. Dependable. Intellectual because you even resemble the brain! Versatile. You are, in fact, a good nut. We’ll keep you.


Oh health conscious almonds. You are a part of my daily diet. You are a slim and pretty nut, you don’t take BS from anyone. You are happy to be decorative in slivers if the occasion calls for it but you remind us all that being healthy is the goal. You never forsake taste for health though. You are a delicious, petite little nut. Your health benefits and sense of style make you and I lifelong buds. Congratulations, Almond, you appeal to almost everyone.

Pistachios, pistachios, how I love pistachios. A little salty, and sometimes an acquired taste, pistachios are like the dessert nut that you can’t get enough of. Sometimes you make us work for your favors, oh pistachio player, your shells can be hard to crack at times. But with your rich tastes and addictive nature, you ensure that our relationship is long lasting. I can’t get enough. You may be my favorite nut of all.

THE PEANUT (actually a legume)
Peanuts, do not despair. Just because you get lumped in with the ‘common’ nuts, does not make you any less special. You are on the outskirts of some circles, it is true. So many people are scared of you because they do not know your true nature. They have heard what happens to those that can’t handle you or even have an allergic reaction to you. You are not common though, dear peanut, instead you are a staple! Your contributions to things like Reese’s cups, PB&J and Nutter Butters are part of what makes this world a better place. Be comforted that not everyone may like you, but I’ll bet most people have heard of you. One way or another you will make your mark on the world.


Oh how exotic you are! Your rich taste competes with your exotic mystique. You demand attention when you appear, even from your tree-stage, you command a presence. Your tree is one of the tallest in the rain forest, so why should you be ignored in the nut-bowl? Exactly. You shouldn’t. You are decadent and versatile in culinary delights. My personal favorite is to pair you with a candlelit dinner, some homemade pasta and some pesto with roasted Brazil nuts. MMmmm.

You are a sweetheart, aren’t you? Such a sweet and mild little nut. You are unassuming and sometimes are at the bottom of the nut-bowl because you don’t advertise your awesomeness. It’s ok. Real connoisseurs appreciate you just the way you are. You are savory but sweet, mild and mellow but still a tasty treat! You may not get the big advertising or exotic report that your siblings do, but never fear Cashew, you are valued! Your contribution to rice-Palau alone should make you famous by morning!

Oh you tropical mainstay! You whimsical personality! You are a coconut, the very definition of warmth and ocean. You paint the image of tropical luxury and far off sands in your very essence. You are storied and legendary. A true party nut! No stuffy affairs in the country club boardroom for you! No sirree Bob! You are the nut of the ocean and bonfires. The coconut rum and Survivor. You, my dear, are the life of the party. Plus, your coconut oil…it’s great for hair. Seriously, you were probably voted “best hair and ability to transform into useful object like a spare bocce ball” in your nut yearbook.

Oh you popular minx, you! You can get away with being expensive and a rare treat because you are so dang yummy! So popular and yet not overdone. You are like the perfect hostess! You know when to show up to the party but also when to make it about other people. Case in point: white chocolate macademia nut cookies. It’s not all about you, but it would be lost without you. The perfect complement nut.

A traditionalist at heart, you are not for the fun and games played by other nuts. You are tasty, it’s true, but you prefer to be in classier establishments. A solid pecan pie for the holidays is your contribution to the world and its traditional appeal still maintains strong. Recently, you have tried to branch out and with some success. Just remember, dear pecan, that you are more than a dessert…you could be a main player if you try!

Which nut are YOU?! Did I miss a nut? Suggest new nuts for definition in the comments and have a nutty day!

Peace, love and pecan pie!



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